Musings from the Threshold

Category Archives: Learning

Thoughts on country living and sustainability

During July, we put in a good bit of drive time in rural Missouri, driving back and forth to camp. One thing that stood out to Jonathan and I is that there are many people who live in rural areas just for the scenery, for the space, or for the feel of country living. And to be honest, ten years ago, when we were longing to move out of our little Kansas town of 1,100 people to a place in the country (yes, that was right before God moved us to a town house in South County StL), those were the reasons for our longing. So I’m not judgemental about folks who live in the country just for the space, but these days when I see multitudes of homes in rural areas with no evidence of efforts at self-sufficiency, it concerns me.

When I was growing up, we spent every summer going from Bible camp to Bible camp. Papa spoke, Mama often cooked, and Eric and I had a ball. It was an absolutely wonderful way to grow up and I am more thankful than I can express for those summers of learning, growing, making friends, serving, and having a fabulous time. (Thanks, Papa and Mama!)

There were activities that would not fit into our travelling summers. One was gardening. We had friends with gardens, and I viewed them as nifty but rather unattainable accomplishments. When I realized that a dear friend of mine loved the process of gardening, even when we were in high school/college, I thought she was a bit nuts. Another thing that our travelling and suburban location precluded was the care of “producing” animals. So, while I’ve always loved the country and have wanted for years to live “out-of-town,” I had no reference point for (and hence, no dreams of) sustainability/self-sufficiency.

Several years ago, we got to know a couple who had made some very deliberate choices toward a simple life. I think that their lifestyle is what began to open my mind to the benefits of living simply and becoming producers of some of the basics in life.

Likely as a result of our interactions with these friends, I began to read more about simple living and self-sufficiency, and one writer in particular made an impact on my thinking. Unfortunately, I don’t recall his name or website, which was full of practical tips for sustainable living, but one principle he shared has stuck with me and impacted our pursuits. He encouraged folks to make small do-able steps toward becoming more self-sufficient, because the tendency is to jump in with both feet… and then burn out. Instead of burning out, he said to find something small that you know you can handle, then build on it. That bit of advice has served us well.

Over the last five years, we’ve made quite a few baby steps and learned a great deal, as you’ve “witnessed” if you’ve been reading my blog for a while. Moving to our current location allowed for several larger steps that would have been too overwhelming without the preceding baby steps – a large (to us) heirloom garden, a variety of fowl, etc.

We want to continue to learn through experience about self-sufficient practices for a variety of reasons. We desire to:
~ Be better stewards of what God has given
~ Work together as a family more (cost of living down, more time as a family)
~ Live a less hectic lifestyle
~ More directly see the fruits of our labour; teach our children to enjoy the fruits of their labour
~ Gain a greater understanding of God’s creation and His plan in creation
~ Develop in ourselves and our children a clearer picture of personal responsibility
~ Have the ability to be a benefit to others instead of a drain, especially in time of crisis
~ Be prepared – The sky *is* falling

I’m not going to go into that last point much, but we do believe that things are going to get ugly here in the U.S. before long. If that thought is shocking to you, you need to do some reading (let me know if you want some suggestions). If it turns out that we’re wrong, we will have only benefitted (see above) from the pursuit of simplicity, sustainability, and self-sufficiency. We pray that those around us will benefit as well.

I do not intend in any way to sound like we have sustainable living figured out! We have a long way to go and much to learn. Sometimes I feel like we are such “newbies” to this, and compared to some, we are. But when I look at where we were five years ago, I’m thankful we began to take baby steps.

Whether you live in the city or out in the country, we’d like to encourage you to find some do-able step that you can take toward providing for some of your needs “on site.” Many cities allow backyard hens; square foot or container gardening is a workable option even in small spaces, etc. Consider what baby steps you can take!

So, what do you think?

P.S. – Mid September is the beginning of garlic-planting season. We’re planning to try it for the first time. Want to join us?

O Lamb of God, still keep me

O Lamb of God, still keep me
Close to Thy pierced side;
‘Tis only there in safety
And peace I can abide.
With foes and snares around me,
And lusts and fears within,
The grace that sought and found me,
Alone can keep me clean.

~James G. Deck

Many thanks to Nancy Rollinger for posting this on FB this morning. What a blessing!

100 Toes

I was amazed tonight by the realization that we are a family of one hundred toes. I’m feeling overwhelmedly thankful tonight for my wonderful husband and the eight lives God has entrusted to our care.

The Father has been steadily renewing my affection for my children lately. In the busy-ness and challenges of my pregnancy, I had gotten into a rut that found me not treasuring my Blessings. Or perhaps I wasn’t treasuring them before the pregnancy and had not realized it. But my heart is being drawn back into communion with these precious lives God has given us, and I’m thankful.

Last Monday (June 7), I began a new phase of life that is helping to facilitate my desire to draw closer in heart with my children. The internet is now considered to be “off” to me during the day while Jonathan is gone to work. And this decision is helping me to change my life.

The first couple of days of this new habit brought the head-bowing realization that I would have to go slowly as I worked my way back into my children’s daily lives. My pregnancy was quite debilatating physically, and I ended up spending most of my time in my room. My children became acustomed to me not being around very much. But we’re changing that for the better, and while I still have a long ways to go (and always will, because that’s the way growth works), I am thankful to find my relationships with my children growing and deepening.

The Father seems to be working on my heart in a lot of other areas right now, including toward my beloved man, but instead of typing more, I think I’ll get off the computer and get back to my family. Tonight is Davey’s birthday party and our traditional Friday night family late night. Fun times!

Encouraging Words

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

~Jean S. Pig­ott, 1876.

“Praise the LORD! How blessed is the man who fears the LORD … For he will never be shaken; The righteous will be remembered forever. He will not fear evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is upheld, he will not fear…” Ps. 112.1,6-8

Update on Andrew


Wednesday afternoon we got a phone call from a nurse in the genetics division at Cardinal Glennon Hospital. Andrew’s state-mandated newborn screening came back showing elevated tyrosine levels (normal is ~250 and his were ~750). He needed to go in Thursday morning to see one of their specialists and have some more testing done. The screening is not definitive, she said; it is an indication that they need to run some additional tests to see what is going on.

While we were caught by surprise by this news, and would have of course preferred that Andrew’s screening had come back “all clear,” we were thankful that we were headed straight to one of the best pediatric care facilities in the midwest. We were told that we would meet with a genetic counselor, then with the specialist. They would do more blood work, as well as a urine analysis.

The “peace that passes understanding” proceeded to envelop us.

Thursday morning, we headed to Cardinal Glennon (about an hour away) with Andrew. Almost everyone we dealt with was very pleasant to work with. The nurse, doctor, and geneticist were upbeat about how well Andrew is thriving and seemed hopeful that the tests will show that his tyrosine levels have gone down to normal.

I’m so glad I took pictures of his beautiful feet on Wednesday (before The Phone Call), because now he has a horribly bruised foot from trying to get enough blood for the amino acid testing. They used that partial vial for the bili test and the lab tech got a vein in his hand on the first try for another vial, which was much less traumatic. The results will hopefully be in next week.

Some info we’ve learned about tyrosinemia:
There are three main types of genetically-passed-on tyrosinemia, plus transient (temporary) tyrosinemia that can be caused by a variety of factors. We don’t don’t much about the ramifications of tyrosinemia, other than that they can be potentially very serious and vary widely according to type. A few links with more info on tyrosinemia, for those who are interested:
Info on various forms; this link is to an overview page, which links to other sections
An article for health care providers
6 pages of info on elveated tyrosine levels in newborns
Article specific to the genetic forms; very interesting
Article specific to Types I and II

From our human perspective, the best case scenario would be to find that Andrew’s elevated levels are already dropping and to see them continue to fall over the next several weeks. On the other hand, His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Our prayer is that we would get an accurate diagnosis as quickly as possible; that God will give us wisdom; and that He will help us to love and care for Andrew as He would. We are at peace as we wait. And we treasure your continued prayers.

In the meantime, Andrew seems to be thriving. He is nursing great, having lots (relatively) of wide-eyed awake time, digesting well, gaining weight, and getting sweeter every day. He is so dear to our hearts.

Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Laurie posted this hymn on her blog recently, and I just have to pass it on. I’ve loved the lyrics for many years, but have rarely heard it sung. This is a simple and beautiful rendition from Chris Rice. Be blessed!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVT-cegVZwA&fs=1&hl=en_US]

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Peace

Last night, I felt like Much Afraid when her cottage was invaded by her Fearing relatives. I was suddenly overwhelmed by a multitude of “What Ifs” and crazy possible scenarios about the arrival of this little one. I knew on the one hand that I was not being logical, but my thoughts just seemed to be running out of control. One verse that helped me start to reign them in was Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” I then moved on to Philippians 4, but didn’t get very far before the Lord rocked me to sleep. Nonetheless, I’ll post those wonderful verses as well:

Do not be anxious [careful] about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Phil. 4:6-8

This morning, we had a wonderful time of worship around the Lord’s table with the saints of Bible Truth Fellowship. The meeting was not in the usual place because there was a fellowship lunch planned, and let me tell you – the acoustics in a double car garage can be wonderful! Such focus on our Redeemer and His amazing love for us; my heart was stilled and filled with thankfulness.

One of the themes that emerged during the breaking of bread this morning was the “But God” statements in Scripture. Jonathan shared this passage from Ephesians:
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience– among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ–by grace you have been saved– and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Eph. 2:1-7

We sang this hymn, which (among others) was a blessing to me (especially the bolded part).

A Mind at Perfect Peace with God
by Catesby Paget

A mind at “perfect peace” with God,
Oh, what a word is this!
A sinner reconciled through blood;
This, this, indeed is peace!

By nature and by practice far,
How very far from God!
Yet now by grace, brought nigh to Him,
Through faith in Jesus’ blood.

So near, so very near to God,
I cannot nearer be;
For in the person of His Son,
I am as near as He.

So dear, so very dear to God,
More dear I cannot be;
The love wherewith He loves the Son,
Such is His love to me.

Why should I ever careful be,
Since such a God is mine?

He watches o’er me night and day,
And tells me “Mine is thine.”

When I looked up the words to the hymn this evening, one of the websites mentioned this verse:
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.
Isaiah 26:3-4

What a faithful and loving Heavenly Father I have, Who is patient and gracious to me when I doubt Him. He provides abundant resources for re-focusing my mind on Him and reminds me of His love and care for me. I pray some of His reminders will be a blessing to you as well.

God’s Love for Me

I was touched today by this story from the Compassion International bloggers trip to Kenya.

No, that’s not it. I was broken. Ugly cry kind of broken.

That this young man can demonstrate such faith in God’s love for Him in the midst of one of the nastiest slums in the world… it simply brought me to sobs of repentence for my doubting heart. We all have “slumy” areas of our lives and hearts, don’t we? And isn’t it easy to begin to doubt His love? Yet HE never falters!

GOD LUV’S ME
Enough to Feed me,
Bless me, and
Give me hope for the future.
Amen.
~Eliud’s daily prayer

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. Ps. 103.8

My heart is full of thankfulness tonight for my Heavenly Father’s love. May I keep His love at the forefront of my mind and heart.

Stages

Ann Voskamp shares some lovely thoughts on life-stages in how to assemble the parts of a life when beginnings end & kids grow up. To get the background to my thoughts below, read Ann’s post first.

I’ve been there. Watched Jonathan take down the crib for what I thought was the last time. Sorted through and gotten rid of most of the baby clothes, saving only favorites and a few extra “just in case.” Placed my desire for more children on the proverbial altar, and found peace and joy in acceptance of moving on to the next stage of our lives.

And now, I promise-swell.
Grateful for the unexpected, not having lost the lesson of acceptance.
His plans, not mine. For His glory and my good.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Rom 15:13

The Power of a Picture

Today, I read a beautiful and touching story of a mother’s first hours and days with her newborn daughter Nella, whom she immediately recognized as having Down’s Syndrome. A beautiful testament to unconditional love. I expected to be emotionally moved by the story, but I wasn’t expecting the emotional journey-in-time I encountered.

Nine years ago this summer, our precious Kate was born. I told her birth story a while back (in six parts, starting here). My unexpected emotional journey-in-time was sparked by this simple picture, borrowed from Nella’s birth story:


While I had somehow refrained from crying as I read this lovely birth story, when my eyes absorbed this picture, the tears started falling. I wanted to weep. I sputtered out something to Jonathan … what I would have given to have had a setup like that when Kate was back in the hospital. He gently reminded me … Babe, it’s been eight years.

My head knew it was eight years ago, that time heals and God is good. But my heart was suddenly there again…

* Our first (and only, to date) hospital birth.
* The miraculous victory of the vaginal delivery of our transverse-to-breech baby … in St. Louis.
* The illogic of the gestational age misdiagnosis (“The reason her hips are so loose is because she was a frank breech. We’re only judging her to be 34 weeks gestation because her hips are so loose. Everything else looks like a 37 week gestation baby.”)
* The successful manipulation by the hospital staff, particularly the pediatrician, to get us to to agree to what they thought was best, despite the fact that everything in us was screaming they were wrong.
* The extra days in the first hospital … the loneliness of being stuck in a hospital room alone while my baby was alone in the nursery, of Jonathan needing to be gone taking care of our other Blessings, of longing for my newborn daughter in my arms and for the arms of my Mama around us both.

And then, the return to the hospital after a week at home, just hours after Jonathan had departed for a business trip…
* The kindness (and yet loneliness) of a friend I barely knew taking Kate and I to the hospital and dropping us off at the door… because there was no one else to do it.
* The bili-bed the nurses were so excited to see in use for the first time; the bed Kate and I hated.
* The hours of trying to find a comfortable position on the hospital bed that would allow me to at least touch my baby as she lay in the bili-bed.
* The CD the kind nurses brought in of music with a heartbeat in the background to try to soothe my baby… when what she needed to hear was my heart.
* The countless tears of longing and loneliness that Katie and I both cried through those two eternal days

There was also good in those days – the kindness of the hospital to provide cafeteria tickets for a mama who arrived in haste, with no money in her purse; the arrival of my Papa and Mama from Kansas on Sunday, just in time to take Kate and I back home; the faithfulness and unceasing love of my Heavenly Father; the eventual homecoming and health of our sweet baby. I don’t mean to seem ungrateful for these blessings.

But as I looked at this picture and thought of how different the whole experience would have been if I could have only held my precious baby under the bili-lights, I was once again that lonely and hurting new mother.


If you’ve stuck with me through my need to re-process this experience, thank you. The suddenness and intensity of my emotions today makes me more understanding of how things that happened years ago and that have been “dealt with” can come rushing in on someone.

God is good, and He is the great Healer. Even of wounds that get ripped open when you least expect it.

Katie’s Birth Story –
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, The Power of a Picture