I’ll get the confession part of this post out-of-the-way right off the bat. I got stuck on my journey for a few weeks. I had five days of sickness, which had some scale advantages, but also weakened me considerably and contributed to my difficulty in getting back into my fitness routine. But honestly, my stalled-out-state was more mental than physical.
I got stuck in complacent mode.
Yes, I was still thirty pounds from my goal weight.
I was over thirty pounds down from the weight I “settled” at after Andrew’s birth.
I no longer cringed when I passed mirrors or saw pictures of myself.
I was into the smallest clothes I owned, aside from a few favorite “thin” outfits I’d saved.
I was starting to think, “You know, I look pretty good for a mother of eight.” Not in a “maybe I’ll stay here for the rest of my life” kind of way, but in a “hmmm, maybe I don’t need to walk today after all” kind of way.
But you know what? “Hmmm, maybe I don’t need to walk today” thinking leads to “maybe I’ll stay here for the rest of my life” thinking.
Thankfully, I “woke up” last Saturday and remembered that my reasons for eating carefully and moving more are bigger than not being disgusted at myself or wearing a particular size of clothing. That being healthy and strong is much more important than looking “pretty good for a mom-of-eight.” That I don’t want to be the fat old lady who hurts her children and grandchildren as they try to care for her. That I want to be the mama and gramma who runs and hikes and swims and plays actively with her children and grandchildren. That I want to glorify God in my body.
So I got moving again this week. I walked with my friend Bethany on Monday and Wednesday, did lots of active work outside with the Blessings, and was thoughtful with my eating. It was nice when the scale showed the difference yesterday morning (I crossed 20 pounds lost since joining Sparkpeople and 35 lost from my “settled” post-baby weight), but better than the numbers is the way I’ve felt. I’m back to pursuing my health goals and becoming who I am meant to be in this area, and it changes my perspective and attitude about so many things!
Thank you, Lord, for the gentle reminders! Help me to be faithful to abide in You and to bring joy to Your heart as I pursue being the woman You’ve called me to be, both inside and outside.
Here are some pictures of my journey that I posted yesterday on my Sparkpeople page. I was surprised by how dramatic they seem to me…
September 1995 – Our Wedding Day
August 2010 – Three months post-baby and heavier than the aforementioned “settled” weight. I was already cringing at the thought of looking at this picture. Can you tell?
May 2011 – Making progress. And loving it!